Mandi
Isabel is sending home a note that she wrote to you. I guess that Alex was teasing Isabel during Math time. Isabel got mad at Alex and rammed her pencil up his rectum. So I made her return to her desk and she had to write a letter telling you what happened.
Just a heads up.
Miss Hackworth
If you're saying, "WHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTT????!!!" like I did after I read it, go ahead and read it a couple more times to let it sink in. There were a couple of word choices that stood out. First of all: rectum. Rectum??? RECTUM??! I'm no anatomy professor, but I believe the rectum is inside the body? Here's the web definition of rectum: The last several inches of the large intestine. The rectum ends at the anus. So is Alex in the hospital now, or what? I noticed she had sent it an hour earlier, so I figured if Alex was getting surgery on his bumhole, I would have been called.
Moving on to the next key words: rammed up. Not poked in, not jabbed at - it was RAMMED UP. Quite the mental image, no? I guess this was their teacher's attempt at "politely" saying, "Isabel poked Alex in the bum with her pencil." RAMMED. UP. RECTUM. Thanks, Miss Hackworth - alarm lessened! Once I realized Alex was not seriously hurt, I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed, and then laughed some more and then tried to get serious when they came home and I had to get mad at them. Here is Isabel's note to me:
I like how she adds, "when Miss Hackworth was watching" like that was her one fatal flaw. If only she could have timed it better!
Anyway, they were both grounded and made to do many chores, but secretly this note is probably the best thing that happened to me all week.
19 comments:
Oh man that is funny. RAMMED UP HIS RECTUM? I can't stop laughing about how Isabel' letter. Did she really feel bad about the ramming? I think she was just mad she got caught. Please don't ground me! HAHAHA!
Also as punishment, I decided to ram a pencil up each of their rectums.
THANK YOU !!! so much for this post!! I have been laughing and laughing and I probably will going to bed this evening as well. Defintite comic relief!! I cannot believe that she would use those strong words and Isabel's note is PRICELESS>>> Thanks again and hope to see you soon!
My favorite part is that she included her reasons as well...that alex was telling people the colors of her underwear. keep that note forever. I bet they get split up soon. When my twin sis and I were in first grade they called my parents in and told them we had to be separated from then on out. We weren't in the same class again until jr. high. It was pretty traumatic then (I was the one that had to switch teachers in the middle of the year), but looking back it was nice to have class without her! :)
Oh my gosh. That is so funny for so many reasons. I have to show Gary. He will die.
P.S. Why are your links gone? Is it the beginning of the end?
We need to have more info on this teacher. Is she a young single adult? I can't imagine an experienced mom would use that phrasing. I'm glad Alex doesn't have any puncture wounds. That letter is really cute!
Hey - I didn't even notice that my links are gone! I have no idea why they're not there.
Yes - this teacher is a young-ish, single, new-ish teacher and she's always seemed a little weird to me. She was actually hired right before the school year started to replace the other 2nd grade teacher that quit unexpectedly. I was supposed to get a letter about it, but didn't, so when I acted surprised at back-to-school night, she got really defensive and every time I talk to her I feel like she hates me. I always feel like I've said something to offend her. Then one day Isabel came home and said, "My teacher thinks you're very beautiful," and I was like, WHAAAAATT??! WEIRD.
I don't know how that phrasing could NOT be a joke. Seriously. Rammed up the rectum?? I think everybody who comments has to type it just to realize that it was actually phrased that way.
And I think you are beautiful, but I would really like to see what context the teacher told Isabel you are beautiful. That seems awkward.
We at The Loge thoroughly enjoyed this note over and over and over again. I have to keep napkins at my desk to swab the tears.
Oh. My. Goodness. This is funny on sooooo many levels (okay - the teacher definately needs to work on phrasing). I LOVE that she added "when miss hawthorne was watching!" Awesome.
Honestly - I have tears in my eyes right now!
Mandi, you are seriously funny. I got a great laugh out this story. You should forward her e-mail to the principal and tell him that you were fearing for your son's life after he had a pencil rammed up his rectum. Isabel's description was much more accurate. That teacher needs to take a lesson in writing from Isabel. I hope you are keeping these stories for your book on motherhood.
that is so funny love the story thanks for sharing
Okay. Laughed so hard I cried. Poor Isabel even got sent to the lost center. Dorky teacher. Madisen's Math teacher (1st year teaching), who is already a crap teacher, when asked about extra credit told the class, "I can't give extra credit, it's against the law." What the ????
How did your punishment go, Paul? :)
Oh my - teacher is a major dork. Isabel is so cute. Very impressive letter she wrote all on her own. The teacher should have been the one grounded.
HOLY CRAP THAT IS PROBABLY THE BEST POST (other than mine of course...) I FEEL THAT THIS MUST BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD...ill leave that up to you though.
I think I can approve that. Thanks for asking!
Hey Ryan - remember when video tuesday was all the rage?? Good times. I think you should start that up again.
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