Remember how much I loved Donny and Marie Osmond? I LOVED them. I had a poster of them in my room when I was about 10. I always watched the Donny and Marie show, I got my hair cut short when Marie did, and Grandma Taylor took me to one of their concerts. I remember she tried to lift me up to see them and almost fell over, since I was probably the same size as her at the time. I still love them, even though when I see them on talk shows now I cringe at their cheesiness and fake laughter. A couple of years ago I found Donny's official website, and promptly became a donny.com member. (I did it mostly as a joke, with a teaspoon of seriousness.) Now he sends me newsletters (D-News) and on my birthday I get a special card crafted by him just for me. It has my name on it and his voice comes on saying, "Hi, this is Donny. All of us at Donny.com hope you have a wonderful birthday," or something romantic like that. And it has a whole bunch of sexy pictures of him. YESSSSSSS!
Anyway, the whole point of this reminiscence is because I went to the kids' school carnival today, and we were waiting in line for the train, when I realized - MARIE OSMOND IS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!! Oh the twitterpation of my heart. The line for the train was really long and I was suddenly grateful for that. I tried to keep sneaking un-obvious glances at her. She had her hair in a ponytail and had big movie star sunglasses on. She seems very tiny, although she must've had a bad 80's boob job, because her chest is boxy and out of proportion with her tiny body. Her teeth are stunning - as you can imagine. The school crossing guard was in line in front of me, blathering on about something (that woman can TALK) - and I was saying, "uh-huh, uh-huh" when my mind was actually completely focused on every word Marie said. I want to write every detail of what she said, but I'll control myself. She just seemed like a very normal mom and wife. I wanted to turn around and gush about how much I love her, but I didn't want to seem like a freak. The whole time I kept thinking - "Marie's looking at the back of my head! Marie's looking at the back of my head! I hope the back of my head is good enough for Marie! I think she wants to be my best friend!" I was going to just let Alex and Isabel ride by themselves, but then I thought - I'm gonna ride the train with Marie! Turns out I actually prevented her from going. She had 5 people to take, but when I got on, there were only 4 seats left. Doh. Sorry Marie! Anyway, the whole thing was pretty exciting for me.
This doesn't really relate, but it happened at the carnival and was kinda funny. There was a clown making balloon animals, and the line was sooooooo long. Last year I refused to wait in it because it was so dang hot, but this year it was nice and breezy and I could watch the kids go play other games while I waited in line for them. So it didn't bother me. But I must have stood in line at least 40 minutes to get these stupid balloon animals. I finally made it to the front (yeah!) and got Alex a sword, Isabel a crown and Oliver a little puppy. I handed Oliver his puppy as I was walking away and he immediately put it in his mouth and bit it as hard as he could. POP sssssssssssssssss - that puppy lived for about 2 seconds. Nice.
One more thing - in my searching for my old Donny and Marie poster, I found this website called landofos.com. NOW THIS GUY IS A FREAK!! You have to read this page http://landofos.com/collectn/collectn.htm. Wow. If I were the Osmonds I would be seriously afraid.
Anyway, the whole point of this reminiscence is because I went to the kids' school carnival today, and we were waiting in line for the train, when I realized - MARIE OSMOND IS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!! Oh the twitterpation of my heart. The line for the train was really long and I was suddenly grateful for that. I tried to keep sneaking un-obvious glances at her. She had her hair in a ponytail and had big movie star sunglasses on. She seems very tiny, although she must've had a bad 80's boob job, because her chest is boxy and out of proportion with her tiny body. Her teeth are stunning - as you can imagine. The school crossing guard was in line in front of me, blathering on about something (that woman can TALK) - and I was saying, "uh-huh, uh-huh" when my mind was actually completely focused on every word Marie said. I want to write every detail of what she said, but I'll control myself. She just seemed like a very normal mom and wife. I wanted to turn around and gush about how much I love her, but I didn't want to seem like a freak. The whole time I kept thinking - "Marie's looking at the back of my head! Marie's looking at the back of my head! I hope the back of my head is good enough for Marie! I think she wants to be my best friend!" I was going to just let Alex and Isabel ride by themselves, but then I thought - I'm gonna ride the train with Marie! Turns out I actually prevented her from going. She had 5 people to take, but when I got on, there were only 4 seats left. Doh. Sorry Marie! Anyway, the whole thing was pretty exciting for me.
This doesn't really relate, but it happened at the carnival and was kinda funny. There was a clown making balloon animals, and the line was sooooooo long. Last year I refused to wait in it because it was so dang hot, but this year it was nice and breezy and I could watch the kids go play other games while I waited in line for them. So it didn't bother me. But I must have stood in line at least 40 minutes to get these stupid balloon animals. I finally made it to the front (yeah!) and got Alex a sword, Isabel a crown and Oliver a little puppy. I handed Oliver his puppy as I was walking away and he immediately put it in his mouth and bit it as hard as he could. POP sssssssssssssssss - that puppy lived for about 2 seconds. Nice.One more thing - in my searching for my old Donny and Marie poster, I found this website called landofos.com. NOW THIS GUY IS A FREAK!! You have to read this page http://landofos.com/collectn/collectn.htm. Wow. If I were the Osmonds I would be seriously afraid.
8 comments:
Ahhhhhh!!! scary. Who is this guy? Diagonsis for anorexia: he is eatin' too much Osmond to get any real food. I'm glad you didn't make a freak out of yourself and attack Marie... I know how that feels to an extent, though. When Heidi and I were in New York we were standing right by Mike Myers on the street corner waiting for the walk guy to turn on. You want to talk to them but you don't... the normal person inside you tells you to leave them the heck alone while the freaky stalker inside tells you to smother them with compliments about thier talent. You made the right decision.
I have to start this by saying, Please write a book. You are so entertaining and relatable (sp?).
I didn't even know you liked the Donny and Marie. That's cute that grandma took you to see them.
You seriously should write a book. I have a friend who is writing her second novel, which is pretty witty as far as teen novels go, but you're a hoot! You could totally get a book deal if you got your material in the right hands. At least a weekly column.
I didn't know you were such a Donny and Marie fan either. I do remember you going to the concert because I was mad I didn't get to go. Grandma always did fun stuff with you and Angie... rude. I saw Marie at the airport once and she is surprisingly pretty in real life. I saw Donny at Thanksgiving point (weren't you with us?). He is weird but cute.
Zak - we were freaky stalkers with Mike Miers! I actually bumped into him on accident, but then when I realized who he was, we followed him and tried to take pictures of him for like 2 blocks. He knew we were after him - I felt like a dork after it was over.
Oh poor grandma - I can totally see me trying to lift up Maddie to see something. OUCH! Mand - Everytime I think of your heart beating fast while standing behind Marie will bring a smile to my face. Hillarious! Do you listen to her radio show? Maybe that would be too lame to admit to - although she does seem really cute and down to earth when I've listened. Do you drive by her house? How bad is this?
Her radio show is way too over-the-top cheesy for even me to handle on a regular basis. Sometimes I see her on QVC selling her dolls - and I have to watch the whole hour. She definitely has a "work face" - by that I mean acting way too happy and doing a lot of fake laughing. (Really annoying, yet mesmerizing.) She seemed "normal" in person because I didn't hear her laughing or being cutesy at all. She was arguing with her husband about whether the pool was open, and telling her daughter (against the daughter's wishes) that she had to read an hour everyday this summer. (Arguing with husband and daughter = normal to me!) She lives on the same street as Maddie's best friend, so yes, I have taken some sloooow drive-bys by her house, but nothing too stalkerish. This is my childhood idol, people! I'm entitled to that.
Arguing with husband and daughter does = normal.
Does Montgomery's comment mean this is ending soon?
He found this blog awhile ago - which frustrates and perplexes me. But he has promised me he won't tell anyone else. So I'm trusting him for now.
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