The Hmm

I was reading through past emails and one of them reminded me of another saying Papsmear and I have. Whenever we disagree about something and later find out that one of us was right, the one that was right gets to "hmm" the other one. I guess it's short for "Hmm - I told you so." When we argue we'll say, "Oh - this is going to be the biggest HMMM of my life when I find out I'm right." And when we're REALLY happy about being right after a long and heated argument, we make the hmmm as long and loud as possible, preferably into the other's ear.

So last summer we got this flyer about having our house number painted on the curb. I had been thinking about doing it anyway, because we had tried to put address numbers by our door on the brick, and it didn't go well (the mortar crumbled in unbelief). The flyer said this curb thing was 15 bucks and I just had to sign the paper and tape it to the door again, and they would come by and do it. I thought it was like an official city thing, but Paps kept telling me it wasn't. He was totally against it for some reason, and told me he'd paint it himself (not likely). I was like, "It's fifteen bucks - what's the big deal?!" Anyway, it turned into an argument. Whatever. I just quietly signed it and taped it to the door after he left for work.

So the numbers got painted and looked very nice. I was happy I had done it. Paps was still bugged about it. That night I got this message on our voicemail in the FREAKIEST voice imaginable. I could tell she was trying really hard to be professional-sounding, but it came off as psycho serial killer. She was like, "Hello, this is Kathleen. We have painted the numbers on your curb as you requested and would like to collect our payment." Ok, that doesn't seem freaky, I guess you had to hear her voice. It was like quiet, yet a little shaky and very rehearsed - like she had practiced it a lot, but just WEIRD. I can't describe it. Anyway, I was scared. The next morning I called her back to tell her when she could come get the money and she was the same way - really weird, but trying to sound professional. Then she came to pick up the money and this is the email I wrote to Paul about it:

Re: Curb your curb number hmm
I didn't want to tell you this, because you'll hmm me, but I got a message on the phone last night from the woman who painted the numbers on the curb and it was freaky. I was a little scared. Anyway, she came by today to get her 15 bucks and wow. The teeth. The face. The coke-bottle glasses. The sideways baseball cap. The whole package was just good. But she did give me a two-year guarantee by ripping off a piece of paper with her name and phone number on it. So that should make you feel better. Actually I'm still glad I did it because she really looked like she needed the money and good for her for thinking of a way to earn it. So hmm to you.

Kathleen paints a mean curb.