For as long as I can remember, my husband, Papsmear, and I have had a system in place to appropriately mock those that need to be mocked. When we come upon a person who is not cool, we say, YOU. If the mockee is in close range and will notice our mockery, we just poke each other as our secret signal that that person is indeed YOU. The only people we can't say YOU about, are retarded people. That's mean. We have standards to uphold!This guy is YOU. We watched a show about a 750 lb. man confined to his bed. He was finally hauled out on a whale sling and taken to the hospital. HE was pretty YOU, but this guy was a friend he met at the hospital. He was only 600 lbs. They did a little short recap of his life, and this was a picture of him in junior high. Papsmear was so excited by how not cool he was, he took a picture of the TV screen. Then it was our computer screen saver for about a month.
Sadly, the 750 lb. man died. But this guy decided to write a song for him and sing it at his funeral. Some of the lyrics went like this, "John Keitz was the nicest man I ever knew....he always had a smile on his face.....he always cheered up the place." Something good like that. Ummmm.......are you sure about those lyrics? Seems like the guy I just watched was a surly blob of goo, covered with large nasty bed sores, still demanding his Sun Chips and Little Debbie cakes even though he was unable to roll over by himself. I'm not sure how much sunshine was spread by doing that.
Anyway, just enjoy the knowledge that he's YOU.
11 comments:
oh my mandi... I really need to come to your house a lot in the fall so that I can join in on the hilarity that goes on in your home. Hahahahaha that is so sad yet so incredibly entertaining.
Papsmear would love the YOU blog. (I wonder how long it will take for him to find it?) That is seriously SAD! Now I'm going to be paranoid if I hear "You" from lobsterhand or Pap. Does Z-man know to call you lobsterhand? I fear your blog will already be in danger - well maybe not - there has got to be a million Zaks and Mands out there.
I guess I like mean entertainment.
Oh I didn't realize that I was supposed to call you Lobsterhand, Lobsterhand. You can start calling me zmoney-in-the-hizzy. Thats what I go by in Chicago.
What up zmoney? We're totally keepin' it real on the DL. Good call mom.....I mean origin of my birth.
I was actually calling myself Brownman, but Lobsterhand works, too. To shorten it up, it could be just Lobst, or Male Species of Pigmented Skin. You decide.
Can I just say,it is SO AWESOME that he took a picture of the TV and then used it as a screen saver???
hey I tried to do other--that was from me, the stinky pit girl.
I'm having a hard time figuring out which origin of my loins is talking. I know a couple for you have stinky pits. You need to give a few more hints. OK?
I hope zmoney-in-the hizzy is having a crazy good sales streak!
Stinky pit girl is Heidella.
Do you know what's even funnier about the screen saver? After a couple days of it being there, I said - by the way, nice screen saver Pap - and he was like, what? I thought YOU put that on there. Turns out it was our lovely daughter the Madster that did it. I didn't even know she knew how to do that! We've taught her so well.
Oh my funny! This was one of the best blogs yet. I'm sure your mockery gene was handed down from the dad of your origin. You must continue to blog lobsterhand. Don't let papsmear close to your blog. It sounds as if the mockery gene has been passed along to Maddy. I like the retard rule.
I can't read this blog and be mad at drama queen at the same time. I'm yelling at her to get her stuff together and laughing at the same time. It isn't jiving with my incredible parenting skills. How are you changing your names?? I need to be yellow pits.
haha Welcome yellow pits!
I need one good name like that..... unshaven pits? No, I'll let Jeni have that one, since she hasn't commented yet.
You're welcome, Jeni!
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