About a year ago Paul's sister took a trip with her husband to the Galapagos Islands. He's Ecuadorian, so they go to Ecuador a lot to see his parents. They bring us back dumb little things - like monkey testicles or iguana foot keychains - whatever weird thing catches their eye. Last year they gave Paul an intricate little wood carving of two turtles mating. Ha ha, funny, dumb, whatever. I threw it in my underwear drawer so the kids wouldn't see it, and thought I'd give it as a white elephant or something. It's been in there so long I'd forgotten about it. Then a series of well-timed events happened. Several days ago I made the kids fold and put away the laundry, and Isabel found those turtles in my drawer. Thinking it was a toy, she put it into Oliver's little toybox in the living room. Oliver's new thing to do with strangers is hand them different toys that he finds. The next day my visiting teachers came - two very nice old ladies, and - yeah, you can see where this is going. When Oliver handed those turtles to one of them and she said, "Oh! What's this?" I think my heart stopped beating for a couple seconds. I was MORTIFIED. My instinct was to act as though nothing was wrong. "Turtles, huh, Oliver" I said in my babiest voice. Then the lady PUT ON HER GLASSES TO INSPECT THEM FURTHER. It became awkwardly silent, so I jumped up and out of the clear blue lifted Oliver's shirt and said, "Do you want to see his scar??" and talked about his surgery while I took the toys from her and buried them deep in the toybox. It seems painfully obvious what the turtles were doing, but I'm telling myself that she thought it was a baby turtle climbing onto his mother's back. That's possible, right?
10 comments:
Hahahahahaha Hahahahahahaha! I only wish you had this on video!
Hahahaha! "Do you want to see his scar?" Hahahahehe Brilliant save.
"And these two ladies live on our street and we see them all the time" you forgot to say.
If I had been there it could have gone a lot worse. I think you saved it pretty well, because who doesnt want to see a surgery scar? Answer: Nobody.
Oh my goodness that is funny Mandi- You should have tried to make it less awkward by saying "They are really going at it, aren't they!" and give it back to Oliver with a smile.
That is too funny!! What a good save! The humping turtles reminds me of a time when our whole family went to the zoo, hillary was about 2 and ryan was about 7. We passed by the giant turtle pen and these two enormous turtles were going at it. Normally I imagine turtles to be silent creatures, but these turtles or just the male turtle I think was BELLOWING. It was so loud and weird sounding. It was so funny. My mother freaked and covered ryan's eyes and was frantically trying to distract him, "ryan ryan oh look over here..NOT THERE...over here...here's a nice rock on the ground". hillarious.
That is way funny. I can't believe she got her glasses out to have a closer look...could sweet innocent Mandi REALLY own something so perverse???
That is really funny! I think Zak had the right approach. I swear you VT experiences go from bad to worse.
HA! That is so funny. How do you explain it? Your save is classic. Maybe she just thinks you are super naive about the "birds and the beez" because you must think it's a baby crawling up onto her mother. haha.
I love humpin turtles! Mike and I got some on our honeymoon in Hawaii and they are still on a shelf in our bathroom. Ours aren't quite as offensive as they are 4 high . . . or maybe that is more offensive.
That was hilarious! Can you imagine the discussion on the way home from visting teaching? I'm sure they were probably trying to figure out why you would let your kids play with such perverse things, maybe wondering if it was some liberal parenting technique for helping kids understand the birds and the bees, etc. Too funny!
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