Oh how I've missed you.....

Sunday paper.  We haven't been getting the paper for awhile.  For a couple years we were getting it free from my grandma, but then it stopped coming.  No need to concern yourself with that part of the story.  The point is that we were faced with whether we should pay to get the paper again.  We decided against it, since we never actually read it.  The Monday thru Saturday papers were used solely for the crossword, defacing the Buckles cartoon (the stupidest comic strip to exist), and making a protective cover for the table during craft projects.  The Sunday paper was enjoyed the most, as there is an even bigger crossword, the Parade (entertainment news), my beloved coupons, and perhaps the Dave Barry column.  But we decided that even those things were not worth our money.

Anyway, lately I've been looking high and low on the internet for a razor coupon.  I cannot bring myself to pay full price for razors - they are so ridiculously expensive!  The cheap ones cut you to shreds, so you have to buy the nice ones, and if you can imagine the face I make when I balk at something (and I think you can), you know what I look like when I see the price of a Venus Embrace refill pack.   That look is also accompanied by a strong black woman saying, "oh hell no" in my head.  So I haven't bought razors for awhile.

The shaving requirements of men vs. women are really unfair.  Men complain all the time about shaving, but if you compare the square inch area of half of their face to our two legs - almost half of our body - they should feel lucky that that's all society requires of them.  Actually, it's not a requirement at all.  When men don't want to shave, they grow beards - winter beards, vacation beards, icky homeless guy beards......pretty much any reason is acceptable to grow a beard.  It is rugged and manly - a "style choice."  But when a woman decides to grow a "winter leg beard" it is deemed "gross."  Such an annoying double standard!

Ok, it's taking me a long time to get to my actual point.  The point is, we bought a Sunday paper so I could look for razor coupons.  And I forgot what else I have been missing.  The ADS.  Oh, the dear, sweet, ridiculous ads.  I came across a new one that I love.  I present to you, the Magnetic Slimming Panty!

No more lumps and lines!  Just tiny little bumps all over your butt and frontal area.  I already have a slimming undergarment like this that I refer to as my "sausage casing," but never did I think I would find one that healed me, too!   Paul, we need to start getting the paper again.

Speaking of slimming, I am trying to find a way to make me stay on a diet and exercise plan.  I can go hardcore for 2 weeks, but then I do the opposite of dieting and exercise hardcore for several more weeks.  It doesn't really get me anywhere.  I have this book called "100 Days of Weight Loss," and I thought to inspire me, I would put a marker board up on my fridge counting down my 100 days.  Paul decided he would make my numbers even more inspiring:




Can't wait for 97.